What I Hate About Facebook

by RhodesTer on January 18, 2010

Aside from the ads? Because most of them are scams and not legitimate products?

Really? For FREE?

I hate the applications, aka the “apps.”

Definitely the APPS.

Oh, and idiots.

Sometimes they go together.

Like when I open my notifications thing and see this..

Somebody answered a question about me? WHAAT? What’d they say?

I should have known better, but I opened the damn thing.

Of course I had to enable the app, which I did temporarily just out of curiosity about this stupid question.

Then it asked me how many of my friends I want to send the app to and answer questions about.

NONE, thank you.. SKIP.

Now, instead of showing me the question that was answered about me, it asks me a question about a random Facebook friend of mine and I have to choose YES, NO or SKIP.

SKIP, DAMMIT! I already told you I don’t want to bug my friends with this shit.

Finally, the questions and answers appear..

WHAAAAAT? the.. ?

Alright, just so you know, I HAVE failed tests (who hasn’t?) I may or may not have bad breath but you’re never going to get close enough to find out, my profile pic isn’t even me, I’ve done community service voluntarily, I showered today, I probably am a freak AND I’ve been married for twenty years so a crush on me – or not – is pretty irrelevant.

And what’s this “Find out who answered for 50 coins” crap? Like I give a flying frig what people think, and also it already told me in my notifications who answered a question about me..

I blacked out this person’s name but they answered at least one of those – I guess.


So of course I can’t just get out of the thing. One more click and it wanted me to enable something called ZOOSK.

No thank you.

Some more clicking around and I managed to get out of it all, then I had to go to “edit apps” and remove the app I’d just allowed so that I could see the stupid questions.

Now, maybe some of you like these apps and find them entertaining. Good for you. I have this one friend, Sarah, who seems to get all these little gifts and things from people and she has GOT to be the most gracious recipient ever. I’m constantly seeing stuff like..

Jen sent Sarah a yellow balloon attached to a monkey.

Then Sarah will comment under it..

“I LOVE MONKEYS! and yellow is my favorite color!
Thank you so much Jen!”

I’m pretty sure Sarah knows she didn’t actually get a monkey or a balloon. She just got a little graphical representation that some crappy artist drew up in about five minutes. Jen didn’t draw it up, which would have at least meant a little more. No, she picked out the graphic from a sea of others where balloons of all colors were attached to all kinds of wildlife, and thought that the color yellow and a monkey suited Sarah best, so that’s what she sent.

She “personalized it.”

But if Sarah likes it, what do I care? As long as I don’t have to “enable the app” and send balloons attached to animals to all of MY friends.

A few of you might actually read this who have sent me these kind of things in the past, and I may or may not have opened them and responded. Chances are I didn’t. Sorry about that, but now you know that Facebook apps are, to me, not unlike the puss blister on my neck that I endured a few weeks ago. The one that had me in excruciating agony until it burst and ran all down the new shirt coffeesister had gotten me for Christmas.

We had to burn the shirt.

So I’m not going to be looking at or accepting anymore of these things on Facebook. I’m just going to continue using it to make snarky remarks and leave snarky comments in friend’s comment threads and if anyone has a birthday coming up I’M NOT going to pick a “card” from some page of cards and “send” it to them.

I’m just going to wish them a happy birthday.

By the way, those snarky comments? I come up with those all by myself! I don’t go to a page of snarky comments and choose one that best fits my friend.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go shower and gargle with mouthwash to get ready for my community service gig which I’ll be heading to after first changing by profile pic to a unicorn sleeping on a rainbow with a balloon tied to its ass.

tell the WORLD..
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Katherine January 18, 2010 at 6:06 pm

I block all the apps people send me stuff from. I really could care less if someone has sent me a monkey. Or wants to play Farmville with me. -BLOCK-


2 RhodesTer January 18, 2010 at 7:30 pm

So I guess a monkey on a farm is REALLY out of the question for you?


3 Katherine January 19, 2010 at 2:05 pm

Yes, it would.


4 Lauren January 21, 2010 at 1:37 pm

I like the Farm Apps for boredom sake but the apps you have referred t0o, yes are friggen obnoxious!


5 RhodesTer January 21, 2010 at 1:42 pm

To me, they all are.. but that’s just my opinion.


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