showering with sexy_veronica

by RhodesTer on January 22, 2009

in Humor/Satire

sexy veronica? I’m really glad that my wife, aka Dorian, aka “coffeesister, didn’t shut off my computer while I was in the shower last night.

It’s not like I have anything to hide. Well, except for “sexy_veronica”, who’s chat box popped up while I was shutting everything down just before the shower, but I don’t know her and I wasn’t talking to her and I even blocked her.. honest!

You see, I run SKYPE. I keep it on all the time, but I don’t run it in that stupid “Skype Me!” mode because then, well, you’re just asking for trouble. They will Skype you, and how! They’ll Skype you until your eyes bleed.

I just run it in “visible” mode, which shows people I’m online but it isn’t a glowing, pulsating beacon begging for abuse to be heaped upon me mercilessly until I scream like a little girl. It’s just an indicator that I’m online and available, which I prefer because I have an open invitation out there for anyone who’d like to hire me and thus contact me on Skype, which they never do.

One thing I do get on occasion are invitations from sexy_veronica and busty_betty, who are always “new in town, and looking for someone to show them around.“  They always want to show me their picture first, but I don’t want to see their picture, let alone take them around town, because I know what they’re really up to and I can tell you right now it’s not something that’s healthy for a married man.

So, I hit the “block” button. That’s all it takes and they’re gone forever, or at least until they make a new profile called “sultry_susie” or “lovely_lorna” (apologies to my blogger friend Lorna, who is lovely on the inside – you should see her kidneys, whoo boy!)

What happened yesterday is that sexy_veronica sent me a kindly invitation to look at her picture, and then show her around town and then finally go back to her place for a wild night of passionate, uninhibited monkey sex, but being the old married stick-in-the-mud that I am, I just blocked her. Thing is, the chat window with the invite stayed open because I forgot to close it because  I was busy working on other stuff in my web browser, so it just stayed right there all day long, smoking a cigarette while waiting for me to take a break.

Finally, really late in the evening, I realized that I smelled funny from sitting in this chair and slaving over a hot computer for hours on end, so I thought I’d take a shower and give the computer a rest while I was at it. I initiated the shutdown sequence, which involves a lot of patience due to this being a 4 year old Compaq with less RAM than one would like, and I sat here waiting for systems to shutdown because sometimes it hangs up and I’ll come back hours later to some little box on the screen that’s asking me if I want to shutoff this program or that program, like that’s not what I wanted to do in the first place, you dumbass computer. So I have to “ok” the box when it pops up and then it’ll shutdown completely.

I was sitting here watching it go through the motions when suddenly this box popped up that said, “ending chat session with sexy_veronica”, which put a kink in my neck because I swiveled my head around extremely fast to see who was standing there watching all of this from over my shoulder which, of course, turned out to be no one.

“I wasn’t chatting with sexy_veronica!” I said, under my breath and to nobody in particular. Then I was really glad I hadn’t gone to take the shower without shutting it off because I would have called out to my wife, aka Dorian, aka “coffeesister“, to “please go over to my computer and shut it off for me because I forgot.”

I can’t imagine what she would have thought if she’d seen “ending chat with sexy_veronica“. She might have thought I was having an affair, or that I was paying for cyber-sex, or that I was really stupid because she knows those things are just scams to get you to go look at nekkid pictures and pay money for the “Premium Membership” where you can actually chat with the models while saving the high-rez versions of the pics and you’ll have access to over 15,000 hours of streaming video at your command to download and do with as you will. Copyright 2009 all rights reserved all models over 18 years of age. Site compliant with section 2247.5 restrictions apply see full details here.

I’ve never been to those sites, so I wouldn’t know.

I’m actually kind of hoping that sexy_veronica wasn’t too put off by my blocking her, and that she’ll get over it just fine and think only kind thoughts of me. Perhaps she’ll think those thoughts while she’s driving her car, or baking cookies, or even while she’s in the shower, soaping up in that warm, sensual water that’s streaming over her luscious, ripe..

..I need to go shut down now. Bye.

RhodesTer on Twitter/Facebook/Subscribe to this mess

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Joely Black (@TheCharmQuark on Twitter) January 22, 2009 at 9:51 am

Yeah. We believe you. Yeah.

Joely Black (@TheCharmQuark on Twitter)´s brilliant babbling..A post where I rant and kvetch and basically long for my comfort zone

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2 RhodesTer January 22, 2009 at 9:57 am

No you don’t, I can tell.

Reply

3 Joely Black (@TheCharmQuark on Twitter) January 22, 2009 at 12:02 pm

*Poker face*

Joely Black (@TheCharmQuark on Twitter)´s brilliant babbling..Thanks to somebody else, I feel better now

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4 Darrell January 22, 2009 at 1:10 pm

What happened yesterday is that sexy_veronica sent me a kindly invitation to look at her picture, and then show her around town and then finally go back to her place for a wild night of passionate, uninhibited monkey sex

She wanted you to have sex with a monkey? She keeps a monkey at her place for just such purposes? Is it possible to have inhibited sex with a monkey, or is one utterly uninhibited the minute one commits to such an act? So many questions.

Darrell´s brilliant babbling..Surgery

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5 RhodesTer January 22, 2009 at 1:19 pm

NO, you’re not listening, as usual. It would be emulating monkeys, as in doing it the way they do, with wild abandon and making heavy use of nearby bananas. There might even be some feces flung in more passionate moments, although that seems like it’d be going a bit too far, now that I think about it.

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6 Darrell January 22, 2009 at 1:22 pm

Literally LOL. Disgusted, but LOL.

Darrell´s brilliant babbling..Surgery

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