Primate humor

by RhodesTer on October 27, 2008

in Humor/Satire

While I was at the Coffeebean in downtown Palm Springs yesterday morning, the cute Cambodian counter girl was telling me about her other job at “Bath Junkie.”

“Bath Monkey?” I asked.

“No Dave, Bath JUNKIE.. it’s a shop that sells bath supplies.”

“OH!”.. I was perplexed. “Well, I suppose if it was actually called BATH MONKEY then you’d be selling soap to simians, and you’d probably have a really nice line of APE-ricot scrubs.”

I wonder why she doesn’t talk to me very much.

I go to the Coffeebean on weekend mornings.  This is because I work the overnight shift at a nearby hotel and, when I get off at eight, I like to unwind with a nice iced medium mocha blended with no whip.  Then I catch a bus to journey the 3 miles home so that I can sit at this stupid computer in a glassy-eyed daze for a few hours before finally collapsing.

This all might change soon.  I’m trying to eat better and get more exercise.  I might ride my bike back AND forth, forgoing the bus altogther, and cutting out iced medium mochas with no whip in favor of something with fewer calories.  I might take a different route — one that takes me by a Starbucks — and I might sit in there for a bit each weekend morning and just do some kind of coffee thing with no foo foo extras.

I’m just thinking about it at this point.

I like routine.  I like having the same thing.  I like making the cute Cambodian counter girl roll her eyes in disbelief at bad puns.

But a Starbucks would have employees who think my puns are bad too.  They’d certainly roll their eyes, and I wouldn’t have to wait at a bus stop for ten minutes.  I’d ride free, like the wind, and soak in the sunshine while burning off those pounds.

This entire post was composed solely to get my “Bath Monkey” joke on here, but then I got kind of lost..

Go about your day now.

Sorry.

RhodesTer on Twitter/Facebook/Subscribe to this mess

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Lorna October 27, 2008 at 2:25 pm

I knew your nefarious padding plan before I got to the picture.

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2 RhodesTer October 27, 2008 at 5:27 pm

Well, you have one up on me then, as always. I didn’t know the plan and there originally wasn’t a picture.

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3 DAVe October 28, 2008 at 8:25 pm

Very funny.

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4 RhodesTer October 28, 2008 at 9:25 pm

Only to people who are stoned, Dave.. what are you smoking? Can I have some?

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