MORE Iranian hookers.. everywhere..

by RhodesTer on October 2, 2008

Okay, so I have to say that I am SO not down with this whole SEO thing (Sex Engine Orgasm) and I know I’ve ranted about it before, but my latest find not only takes the cake, but eats it too and then barfs it out later all over my nice new shoes.

See, I use Google Analytics to keep track of activity on this blog, and Google Analytics is the perfect snitch – it tells me anything I need to know.  I wish I’d had Google Analytics in high school, to keep track of girls.

But never mind that.  I’m just getting SO TIRED of horny morons looking for “Iranian Hookers” or whatever, and visiting my blog for about three seconds because I did a stupid post a few friggin’ months ago where I talked about two Iranian girls who were guests at the hotel where I work, who just happened to dress like hookers.

I see visits to that post every day.  They never last more than five seconds, because horny morons aren’t interested in humor, so once they realize they aren’t going to get pictures of Iranian hookers or phone numbers or instructions or something, they bounce, leaving behind stats on my Google Analytics.

Yesterday was the one that made me pull out a clump of my hair, and trust me.. I can’t afford to be doing that sort of thing at my age, and it hurt.  Someone had actually Googled the entire phrase, “sexy videos of prostitutes in short skirts” and Google somehow sent them to The RhodesTer Chronicles.

I decided to do a little investigating, so I typed that phrase into my own Google search window and you know what?  This blog came up SEVENTH on the list!  ABOVE the fold!

SEVENTH!

WTF???

(NOTE- Since posting this, that same phrase now returns this blog in the # 1 AND #2 position.  *groan*)

Let me state right here and now, for the sake of readers such as my mother-in-law Phyllis, and that coffeesister person, and my vast array of female readers (all 4 of you) that I have NEVER, EVER posted videos of sexy prostitutes in short skirts to this blog.

The Google page points you to the Iranian hooker post (of course), but here’s what it says..

Sweet! Sexy! Iranian Hookers! — The RhodesTer Chronicles
- Oct 1
In short, short skirts with high-heel boots and fishnets? With overdone make-up and …. Or add a Video Comment. with. Seesmic Logo. « Back to text comment …
rhodester.net/sweet-sexy-iranian-hookers – 34k – Cached – Similar pages – Note this

I’m just describing what those girls were wearing!  And the video reference is because you can leave video comments on this blog!  (Did you know that, by the way?)  There are NO PICTURES OR VIDEOS OF SEXY IRANIAN HOOKERS!

The only conclusion that I can come to through all of this, is that despite ten years of development and billions of dollars earned and invested, that GOOGLE IS STILL DUMBER THAN A BAG OF HAMMERS.

NO.. make that SEXY, IRANIAN HAMMERS.

Geez Louise.

A Google scientist proudly displays the brand new search engine optimizer, built entirely from washing machine parts and the stuff left to them when Uncle Pat died.

BY THE WAY, if you came here looking for actual hookers or photos of hookers or videos of hookers, I’d hate to have you leave disappointed.. so buy some sexy shit..

tell the WORLD..
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Scott October 2, 2008 at 8:34 am

Heh. Looooove search engines.

Reply

2 RhodesTer October 2, 2008 at 8:47 am

Yes, they are SOOO entertaining!

Reply

3 Rene October 2, 2008 at 3:37 pm

Well, how does that saying go, bad PR is better than no PR?

Reply

4 RhodesTer October 2, 2008 at 6:31 pm

If by “PR” you mean “Puerto Rican” hookers, then yes.

Reply

5 michael March 30, 2009 at 12:08 pm

that was cool, all isee and searched in here, please send me some more photos

Reply

6 RhodesTer March 30, 2009 at 12:49 pm

Sure Michael, thousands of photos coming your way – check your mailbox tomorrow.

Reply

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