I’m a tour guide in the stark-raving beautiful city of San Francisco, and last year I had a medium on my bus tour.

I didn’t know she was a medium until she told me, and she didn’t tell me until I spoke with her and her husband personally after the tour. She said that she wouldn’t have brought it up but she had a message for me and she wondered if I would like to hear it, or perhaps just tell her I think she’s a kook and we’d leave it at that.

Her approach was a lot like the TV mediums I’ve seen, such as that Tyler Henry guy in Hollywood and the Long Island lady. They always explain themselves and their method like they’ve done it a thousand times before, but with just a hint of caution. They know full well it’s possible the person they’re approaching won’t be a believer at all and might smoosh a pie into their face if the medium should try any shenanigans.

My bus medium lady said that if I’m not a believer, that’s fine and she’d be happy to just ask some questions like any other tourist, or… I could choose to hear the message.

It wasn’t a message from “spirit,” it was fate, according to the medium lady. “This is destiny,” she said. “This is about your future.”

Wow, this is exactly what that Tyler Henry guy does. He asks his clients if they want to hear from the dearly departed or about their future, or both. He doesn’t have to be cautious because he doesn’t approach strangers in supermarkets, he goes to the homes of clients who ask for him and make an appointment.

The Long Island lady has clients, but also approaches strangers in public because she says “spirit won’t leave me alone unless I get this message to that person.” She never forces it though.

I opted in.

She said it’s in two parts. I said, “Okay..”

“The first part is a question. Are you the author of numerous books that have not yet been written?”

Whoa. There it is. The lady in Long Island calls this a verification. Something that immediately zeros in on the person that the medium couldn’t possibly have known. Dorian and I both have secret catchphrases that ONLY WE KNOW and NO ONE ELSE WOULD FIGURE OUT IN A MILLION YEARS, so DON’T EVEN TRY IT. These are personal identifiers to tell a medium someday, should the medium be telling either of us that the other of us is in the mist and has a message.

The bus medium lady had a pretty good verification because I’ve been wanting to write for a long time now but always seem to put it off. I hadn’t mentioned that on the tour. I also hadn’t given my name beyond just “Dave,” so she didn’t have any info to find me online. “Dave” is fairly common.

In the ABOUT ME section of this blog — The Rhodester Chronicles — I describe myself as “the author of numerous books that have not yet been written.” Sure, you’re probably thinking that she could have seen the blog and knew full well who I was when she boarded, but none of my online stuff says who I work for or know my schedule.

But stranger yet, at the time I met her my blog was not online.

A person would have to work pretty hard to punk me on something like this, which didn’t result in any personal gain for this lady other than touristy advice, which I gave to her anyway.

So, I told her she had my attention.

“Okay, part two. If you write FIVE books, ONE will hit. It’ll be big, and you’ll be well-known. Book tours, talks, interviews, talk show circuit and so on. But it gets kind of weirdly specific.”

I remember her saying, “gets weirdly specific,” and I was screaming inside, “WHO OR WHAT GETS WEIRDLY SPECIFIC? WHO IS TELLING YOU ALL THIS? WHO ARE YOU???”

She continued. “It won’t necessarily be the fifth book you write that will be the hit, it will just be one of the five. It could be the first one or the fifth one, I haven’t a clue, but the instructions are clear that nothing will happen until there are five books from you out there in the public.”

Then she asked me how to find a good pizza joint in Fisherman’s Wharf, so I sent her and her husband to Tony’s in North Beach because there aren’t any good pizza joints in Fisherman’s Wharf. I figured I owed her.

“The instructions are clear..”

WHAAAT? From WHO? God? An angel? Santa?

Truth is, I don’t really know. But it doesn’t matter because it’s not like I’m being asked to build an ark or a tower or something, I’m just being asked to write, and I like writing. So I think I’m going to write some things and see how it goes.

In closing, I’m not sure if I believe in this or necessarily believe that particular lady, but if someone said to you, “Go take a walk around the block, great fortune awaits and you won’t be sorry!” I’d say do it, because even if nothing great happens, at least you got some exercise. 

Just try not to get hit by a bus.