I stopped in my local Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf for a drink this morning. My local Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf happens to be in a supermarket, so I sit and watch the checkers as they check, while the baggers bag, and the customers cuss.
I was sipping on my mocha ice blended when the little Italian man, Guirmo, or Guillimo, or something, came into work and stopped by my table for a chat. He couldn’t be a day under seventy or an inch over five feet tall, and his English isn’t so great, which is okay because my Italian consists of buongiorno, arrivederci, and Mama Mia!
He was sporting his brown ski cap as always, and it was lopsided as always, and he grinned a lopsided grin when I said, “Buongiorno!” After he returned the greeting, he proceeded to tell me something about the exciting day he had yesterday.
At least I THINK that’s what it was about, because I recognized the word “yesterday,” even though he said it kind of like “yisserdi” and followed it with a tightly strung together stream of mostly vowels that I struggled (in vain) to follow.
“Eeesa notta soo gud whens deyles you doo whassis dey do wissa dey! Eeesa monees dat deysa payyo doosti da fimilee unsa listee deys,” said Guillermo, or Gonmollo, or something, with his hands waving wildly as he adamantly exclaimed all of this to me.
I nodded in total agreement as he went on. “Eeesa dat deysa ar notta yooo butta unda leesa weeeshi doos unda yoooo butta, soo yoosa don dis, no?
He laughed, so I laughed too. Then he asked me a question. I think.
“Gossa yooo den da mees? Yoosa don evuh don dees?
I gave him the most thoughtful, contemplative expression that I could muster while under such linguistic duress. After a few seconds, I nodded and said, “Si!”
He laughed and pointed at me. I suspected I’d just copped to being a bedwetter or something, and I blushed accordingly. Then he glanced at the clock and got even more excited (which I wouldn’t have thought possible) before excusing himself to go punch in and begin his shift.
“Issa go too workkay now, arrivederci! arrivederci!”
He bounced off and tossed a wave back at me, which I returned to him.
I sure hope he doesn’t spend the day telling all the checkers, baggers, and customers my dirty little secret.. whatever it is.