We live in an eclectic little cluster of studio apartments that once served as motel rooms in Palm Springs. A few units down from us lives the red-tunic man, whom I met yesterday. He said his name is “Archbishop so-and-so”, but I’m not sure if I’m supposed to call him “Archbishop” or “your Holiness” or if I can just call him by his first name, which I’ve already forgotten because I, Tom, have a terrible memory for names.
Oh wait, I’m “Dave”.. yeah that’s right.
Does anyone know what religion requires their Archbishops to wear full length red tunics all day long, every day, even while shopping for groceries? I’d just ask him, but I don’t want to get into a conversation about whatever religion he adheres to.. it seems kind of wacky.
An Archbishop, but not ours.
The only reason I approached him was that a neighbor was taken out on a gurney by paramedics a few days ago, and I thought he was dead. Knowing that it was the Archbishop who called 911 to report it, it was he who I asked about it and he said, “Oh no, he wasn’t dead.. he just had a severe reaction to some prescription meds that put him into a coma. He’s okay now.”
Big sigh of relief.
I’d been wanting to talk to the Archbishop for some time now, mainly out of curiosity but I just can’t bring myself to ask, “Hey, why do you wear that big, long tunic?” because I know that I’ll inevitably ask him if he wears it to bed or while in the shower. The neighbor incident was a good reason to approach him today and introduce myself, but he was on his way somewhere so I didn’t want to keep him detained, partly because it’s kind of rude but mainly because he had a big booger hanging off his nose.
I don’t know the first thing about his religion, like whether or not he’s just some Orthodox Christian or if he’s some brand of UFO-worshipping cultist, but I’d think it’d behoove an Archbishop to check his nose before leaving his apartment if he’s going to go out in public brandishing that title along with that fancy garment.
Then again, maybe he didn’t know he had a booger, and maybe he HAD checked just before leaving and it had dropped down from the nasal passages somewhere between his bathroom and when I stopped him as he walked by my front door. I guess we’ll never know, and it’s not going to affect my impression of his Archbishopness one little bit anyway, because I’m just not going to be into any religion where a guy feels he needs to walk around in a cloak like that in PALM SPRINGS where it’s constantly about eighty degrees outside, even at night.
The other day I noticed that he was being interviewed for something. It was right out front, where we have some eclectic little chairs set up under the grapefruit trees, right next to the eclectic swimming pool. An interviewer with a camera was taking notes on a notepad after snapping a few pics of the Archbishop as they both sat poolside in the warm, breezy weather.
The man doing the interview was wearing casual slacks with a light cotton short sleeved dress shirt. The Archbishop was wearing his full length tunic. I almost asked what magazine or newspaper the interview would appear in, but I don’t really want to know, you know?
Or do I?
I sure hope he didn’t have a booger then. That guy took an awful lot of pictures.
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Hey I’ve seen him around too… if you ever find out, let us know. But my hunk is that his religion is in his own mind.
As previously stated, I’m afraid to ask.. but he lives about 30 feet away from me, so SOMEDAY that conversation will take place. I know how to reach you when it does.