WordPress

Here at The Rhodester Chronicles we use WordPress, which has this thing called “Akismet” to take care of spam.

You don’t need to know what that is, other than that it does a pretty good job of keeping spam comments away from you. Instead of getting deleted automatically, they get put into a folder in case any thoughtful, legitimate comments from you fine readers find their way in there, in which case I can approve them, providing they make me tingle.

Spammers have tried everything to get by Akismet and other spam filters, like creative spelling (“have you tried viaagra to exnd ur bonner for ur pardner?), personal approaches (I love your blog, especially your essay on ant colonies and the benefits to modern medicine!) and saturation, where they just send a thousand links that total up to about a two or three page document. I call these spam-novels “Snovels.”

But today was a first. The following was in my Akismet spam folder, and I’ve pasted it here with a bit of editing to adjust any links the guy put in so that they go to MY other blog, because hey, I can do that.

I am a poor man from the African region, I need money to survive by comment on your blogs / forums or guestbook to make my website appear in search engine. Here are the list of my websites (Vimax, vimax, penis enlargement, penis enlargement pills, bigger penis, penis enlargement pills, penis enlargement, download youtube videos, penis enlargement pills) penis enlargement
penis enlargement pills
vimax
vimax
bigger penis

PLEASE SEND YOUR HELP BY APPROVING MY COMMENT!
Regards: PoorAfricaman2011

So, hey! It’s the HONESTY APPROACH! Which is akin to the bum on the sidewalk with a cardboard sign that says, “Need money for beer and hookers.” Or the other one, “Ninjas killed my family, need money for karate lessons.” (the joke approach) HAHAHA!

Here’s my reply to PoorAfricaman..

Dear PoorAfricaman2011,

I myself am a poor American man. I know this seems unfathomable to you, but it’s true! I realize I’d probably be quite rich in Africa where I can get a bottle of Tuskers Lager for like fifty cents, but I live in San Francisco, the land of four-dollar beers and rent that’s two to three times the national average.

Also, as much as I appreciate your honesty, I just can’t bring myself to send my readers to your penis enlargement sites, mainly because according to Alexa.com most of my readers don’t have penises.  Alexa says they’re mostly educated women between 25 and 50. Granted, there are some readers who are under 25 (hi Kath!), over 50 (hi Lorna!), have penises and aren’t educated (not naming anyone here), but I still have reservations about sending them to your sites.

I’d much rather send them here, where they can buy fun stuff and I get a cut of the action, so that I can get myself a four-dollar beer, which I raise in a toast to your creative honesty, my friend.

Best of luck to you, and should you ever manage to visit San Francisco and make your way out the dank cargo-hold of that merchant ship, look me up and I’ll buy you one of those beers, then set you up with your very own cardboard sign and a choice spot at the corner of Market and Larkin.

Regards,

PoorRhodester2011

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