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Paul Hogan

The weirdest directions I ever gave..

by RhodesTer on November 7, 2008

I told a kid that he had to stop skateboarding in our loading dock, and he asked me if there was a skatepark he could go to.  I told him to walk through the complex out onto Hollywood Boulevard, turn right and proceed about 100 feet to the front of the Chinese Theater, where he’d see Crocodile Dundee, whom he should ask because if anyone would know it would be him.

paul_hogan_as_michael_j_crocodile_dundee

Paul Hogan.. not that Don guy

This is because Crocodile Dundee wasn’t the real Crocodile Dundee, as in actor Paul Hogan, but rather he was a guy named Don (something.. I can’t remember his last name) who’d been a professional skateboarder who’d given up the sport after a knee injury and then started hustling tourists for tips on Hollywood Boulevard because Superman said that he looked like Crocodile Dundee and that he’d make a killing out there.

I was a security guy in the Hollywood & Highland complex, and I knew Superman because he was our neighbor.  I knew Don (something) because Superman had introduced us and it was he who told me that Don (something) had been a pro skateboarder.

On that day, I’d been making rounds earlier and I saw the whole gang – Superman, Batman, Elmo, Wonder Woman AND Crocodile Dundee out there hustling for tips, so when I went back to the loading dock and found the skateboarding kid, it was Don (something) – aka Crocodile Dundee – who I thought of when the kid asked for a skatepark.

The kid looked at me like I’d just suggested that he put on a dress, rent a donkey and go rob a library, but I guess he went and found Don (something), because I saw him coming through the complex several hours later and when I asked him if he’d found him okay, the kid excitedly replied..

“Dude, that was DON (SOMETHING), and he used to skate, man!  I totally knew him!  He autographed my board, dude!  And yeah, he directed me to a rippin’ skatepark!  Thanks, man!

I was pleased as punch that it had all worked out.

Later, a guy asked me if I knew where he could buy some good weed.

I directed him to Superman.

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