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<channel>
	<title>The RhodesTer Chronicles &#187; fish</title>
	<atom:link href="http://rhodester.net/tag/fish/feed" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
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	<description>sweet, succulent satire</description>
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		<title>Don&#8217;t be a FLY!  ..or a Walleyed PIKE!</title>
		<link>http://rhodester.net/dont-be-a-fly-or-a-walleyed-pike</link>
		<comments>http://rhodester.net/dont-be-a-fly-or-a-walleyed-pike#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 18 Jul 2008 18:21:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>RhodesTer</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Humor/Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The BEST of TRC]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fish]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[flies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[life lessons]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[studies]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://rhodester.net/dont-be-a-fly-or-a-walleyed-pike</guid>
		<description><![CDATA["Stupid flies! It's just a con! You're being SCAMMED!"]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/QzjhkeIpFg0bUZJk1fwQqA?feat=embedwebsite"><img class="alignright" style="border: 1px solid black; margin: 6px;" title="Fly" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_8XyPgqCGXhE/TEuQKAfizAI/AAAAAAAADKA/Xixm3IBvcyM/s288/fly.jpg" alt="Fly" width="288" height="191" /></a>I once worked at a hotel with a poolside bar where I noticed all of these little plastic bags, each half full of water, that were hanging overhead &#8212; they were all around the perimeter and spaced about two feet apart.</p>
<p><em>&#8220;What in the heck are THOSE for?&#8221;</em> I asked the bartender.</p>
<p><em>&#8220;Oh, they keep the flies away,&#8221;</em> he said.</p>
<p><em>&#8220;How do they do THAT?&#8221;</em></p>
<p><em>&#8220;The flies see with hundreds of little lenses in their eyes as they fly around,&#8221;</em> he explained.<em> &#8220;The optics of the light that passes through the water in the plastic bags somehow throws off their perception and confuses them.&#8221;</em></p>
<p>It must be effective because I never did see a fly at the poolside bar, but I always thought it was because the prices were too high for little critters who basically eat shit all day long.</p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><em>&#8220;Stupid flies! Don&#8217;t you know it&#8217;s just a trick? It&#8217;s not in your way and it&#8217;s not going to hurt you and you can&#8217;t drown in it because it&#8217;s sealed up in plastic bags!  It&#8217;s just a con!  You&#8217;re being SCAMMED!&#8221;</em></p>
<p>I would have said this to the flies directly but the plastic water bags are so effective there weren&#8217;t any out there. I&#8217;m sure that if I tracked some flies down in another area &#8211; an area sans plastic bags half full of water &#8211; they probably wouldn&#8217;t know what I was talking about, so they&#8217;d just land on me and vomit.</p>
<p>This reminded me of a study I heard about years ago, where they (presumably fish scientists) put this walleyed pike (that&#8217;s a fish) into a tank that had a glass wall dividing it in half.</p>
<p>They put another little fish, a minnow &#8212; which is what walleyed pikes like to eat &#8212; into the other half and, as the walleyed pike would go after the little minnow, it&#8217;d smack into the glass wall with a big cartoon &#8220;BOINNNNGGGG!&#8221; and suffer aggravating humiliation as the cruel fish scientists would point, laugh and make fun of the poor walleyed pike.</p>
<p>This went on for some time&#8211; like, days or weeks or months or something &#8212; until finally the poor, humiliated walleyed pike had had enough of being treated so disdainfully just because it was hungry and all it wanted was dinner, so it gave up.</p>
<p>It stopped going after the little minnow, much to the little minnow&#8217;s relief, I&#8217;m sure.</p>
<p>So, do you know what happened next?</p>
<p>I&#8217;m sure you do, being the smart, sassy, savvy, intelligent reader that you are!</p>
<p>The fish scientists removed the glass and the walleyed pike swam around the little minnow without bothering it.  It did this continually until it eventually died of starvation.</p>
<p><em>&#8220;Stupid Walleyed PIKE! Don&#8217;t you see that they took the glass OUT!  You could eat the little minnow after the glass was GONE!  It was all a TRICK!  You were SCAMMED!&#8221;</em></p>
<p>I don&#8217;t think this would really be any kind of decent post at all if I didn&#8217;t attempt to use our friend the fly and our friend the walleyed pike as examples of how we can be blinded to opportunity and finding success that&#8217;s right in front of us because of something that&#8217;s holding us back.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s probably something that we can&#8217;t see because it&#8217;s made of glass, and they (presumably God or the devil or someone) took the glass out long ago, but we are so used to the glass being there that we&#8217;d rather starve to death than eat our little minnow because we don&#8217;t want to endure humiliation again.</p>
<p>OR.. we have these HUGE bags half full of water hanging all around us, and even though it&#8217;s just WATER, and it won&#8217;t HURT us, and it just HANGS there, we avoid it because it&#8217;s confusing and scary.</p>
<p>I say fly right in there, and LAND on the plate of half-eaten nachos!  INDULGE YOURSELF!  You only live for, like, two days!</p>
<p>And EAT THE LITTLE minnow, despite what&#8217;s happened in the past and how many headaches you have from bumping into that damned glass! JUST DO IT ALREADY, because, guess what?</p>
<p>THE GLASS IS GONE!</p>
<p>Life&#8217;s little lessons are all around us, my friends..in fish, in insects and in nature itself.. and you don&#8217;t have to work for a hotel with an outdoor poolbar or become a fish scientist to observe, learn and apply.</p>
<p><em>&#8220;Carpe Diem Carp,&#8221;</em> friends.. Seize the daily fish.</p>
<div class="wp-caption alignnone" style="width: 288px">
	<a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/G74sN_mxW4zua_qKDuFRPQ?feat=embedwebsite"><img style="border: 1px solid black;" title="photo by Birta Ran on Flickr" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_8XyPgqCGXhE/TEuR2AXU3mI/AAAAAAAADKI/FCDY3X5PfYU/s288/girl%20and%20fish.jpg" alt="photo by Birta Ran on Flickr" width="288" height="203" /></a>
	<p class="wp-caption-text">photo by Birta Ran on Flickr</p>
</div>
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