Supper Dish Someday

People who live here in the desert outside of Palm Springs don’t admit this a lot, or maybe they just don’t look up very much, but we have quite a bit of UFO activity.

Seriously. If you go out at night and cast a glance toward the heavens, you’ll occasionally see these little lights that dance about merrily, as if they they didn’t have anything better to do. They aren’t airplanes because they zig-zag around, and they aren’t helicopters because they don’t make any noise. They just sort of pulsate and glow, as they swirl and zoom and sometimes hold perfectly still for a few minutes before suddenly shooting upward at a breathtaking million miles an hour.

This is always at night. I’ve never seen anything during the day..

..until yesterday.

I’m not a big fan of the Super Bowl. Everyone else here in the states seems to be, with a few exceptions, of which I’m one. I never excelled at sports in high school and I’ve always had a certain distaste for sporting events. Yes, I am a red-blooded American male and no, I’m not gay. It’s just that I was born without the sports gene. I’ve been to specialists in sports medicine and they confirmed it.

Now, I usually don’t go around admitting this, because it’s kind of like an Irishman saying he doesn’t care for a nice pint of Guinness now and then, but it’s pertinent to my story.

Yesterday, amidst the hooting and hollering that emanated from neighboring abodes whenever some modern day gladiator scored a touchdown or threw a pass, I brewed a nice cup of Pomegranate White Tea from Trader Joe’s and made my way out onto the deck with my book, “Chasing Smoke” by my pal Bill Cameron. It’s a fine murder/mystery novel that he sent to me for a review, and I’m going to actually do that someday. I figure I’ll read it first, though.

I didn’t get too far into it before I was interrupted by a soft humming sound coming from the deserted lot off to the side of the apartment complex. I looked up to see this magnificent round ship glide gently down with some sort of landing apparatus extended. It was gray with gently pulsating lights that formed a ring all around it. As it settled onto the lot and the humming grew softer, the lights dimmed a bit and stopped cycling around. They didn’t go completely off, but they were obviously in some kind of stand-by mode.

I stared in wonderment for what seemed to be an hour, but I know that only a few moments went by before the burst of light scared the bejeebers out of me. It didn’t come from the ship.. it was sort of a mini-explosion off to my side, noiseless and pretty, and it deposited a little man. He was fairly close to what you’d expect.. grayish green, but more gray than green, with a large head and spindly fingers. His eyes were huge and curious. He spoke to me but his mouth didn’t move. I gathered that he was using a form of telepathy, but it seemed so real. His English was perfect albeit misused, as if he didn’t quite understand what certain words meant in any particular context. It’d be a cheap shot to draw any comparisons to heroic figures in pop-culture such as Yoda, or the Asgard of Stargate lore.. but there were some similarities.

He said, “What is it you do here out as you are and not in for supper dish someday?”

WTF?

I started to verbally reply, not with an answer because I didn’t have a clue what in the hell he’d just asked me, but to ask him to clarify if he could. His arm brought a stop to my attempt, as he swept it up over his tiny mouth with a gesture that seemed to be intended to hush me. His hand flattened out and he slowly extended his fingers toward my forehead.

Then he said, “No, is not”.. and I realized that I had just been thinking how weird this was. He said, “Is how we communicate” and I thought, “Oh that’s just fecking great, this guy can read my thoughts”. He replied, “That is so but is not for worry, I am only to ask what you have to do out here and not in dwelling for supper dish someday.”

That again? Okay, so he can read my thoughts and he doesn’t give a damn if I’m mentally undressing Scarlett Johansson while trying to focus on Bill’s book (told you I was straight). He just wants to know what is to do out here and not in for, uh.. what?  “Supper dish someday”?

A cheer came from apartment twelve. There was a big Super Bowl party going on in there, and it got my friend’s attention. He gazed over in that direction with those huge black eyes, and then looked back at me. “Why you are here? Not in there?”

It started to all come together at that moment. “OH! You mean SUPER BOWL SUNDAY!” He grinned, if you could call it that, but it was kind of like a Japanese Businessman trying to play lead guitar for The Sex Pistols.

“I’m uh, not really interested in the Super Bowl. I’d much rather sit and read this book.”

He looked puzzled as a bit of curiosity crept across his expression, which gave me a start because I quickly realized that I was the curiosity. I was the only one out here.. everyone else was inside glued to their TV sets, and he wanted to know why.

Then I looked up.

The sky was filled with these little, round pulsating ships. They zigged to and fro, up and down, darting here and there with abandon. At least a hundred of them were in our immediate vicinity and many more as far as the eye could see.

“We explore here during this”, he said, “and have never a human see. But is you that is out so is curiosity.”

Obviously, they chose these few hours to swoop down and do some close reconnaissance because everyone would be inside of their homes and bars watching the game. I was an exception, so they thought they’d investigate.

My tale culminates in a name exchange (Dave/Xpo9rgh), a cultural exchange (Pomegranate White Tea and the Maxim layout of Scarlett Johansson/blood of a Brt3k, which isn’t half bad served chilled and a hologram of a Pleidian model/actress known as “Hr6pth”), plus a quick ride around the region on Xpo9rgh’s ship, which turned out to be named after “Hr6pth”.. yes, he’s quite a fan.

Just before he departed, I thanked Xpo9rgh and told him I’d be discreet but he told me, “matter is not, belief is not, they will think you invent for attention.”  It took me a few moments to interpret that.. basically he was saying it didn’t matter, that you’d all think I was crazy and just making up stories again, like here.

That’s okay. I like being the only person around here (that I know of anyway) who has passed right through our neighboring Mt. San Jacinto at high speed and lived to tell about it. Xporgh said something about “phase modulation”, but it’s all Pleiedian to me.

Beats the heck out of a touchdown any day.

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Tagged as: alien encounter, Asgard, Scarlett Johansson, Super Bowl, SUPER BOWL SUNDAY, ufos, Yoda