I’m NOT looking forward to going in for my hotel security shift tonight, due mainly to the fact that gay dudes and farmers generally don’t mix well.
Oh, the gay dudes don’t mind farmers, since they tend to eat fruits and vegetables. I’m sure that deep down inside they appreciate the contribution farmers make to our health, economy and general well-being. But I’ve observed over time that it’s the farmers who tend to take issue with boys who boink each other.. especially after a few drinks. We have a HUGE group of farmers at the hotel who’ve been in Palm Springs for a farming convention. Their meetings and social dinners are over, but a lot of them have opted to stay through the weekend because, hey.. it’s Palm Springs.. and it’s really nice here right now.
Today is also the first day of The White Party.. wherein thousands of gay dudes from all over the world flit to our lovely oasis to hang out, party and parade their pride for anyone who’ll watch. Most of them are staying elsewhere, and none of the parties and events connected with them are being hosted at the hotel, but the ones who’ve chosen to stay with us will be rolling back in AFTER tonight’s parties and events, and the farmers will be there.
*sigh*
A few weeks ago, I barely got through “Dinah Shore Weekend” unscathed.. that’s the female version of The White Party, consisting of thousands of lesbians who converge on Palm Springs once a year for the same purpose of partying till they puke, which they did in our hallways a few times. I even encountered one young lady running through the halls in her (quite lovely) birthday suit while her friends cheered her on. When she saw me, she ducked into the housekeeping doorway and emerged with a “WET FLOOR” sign, which she held in front of her as she sheepishly returned to her room. Hey, if she’s going to run through my halls in the buff at 3 in the morning, I’M not looking the other way. The problem with “Dinah Weekend” was that someone in our group sales department decided that it’d be just fine and dandy to book a large group of older ladies, many of whom use walkers and canes to get around, at the same time we were to have drunken, hot lesbians swinging from the rafters. I personally wouldn’t have minded if the entire hotel had been completely full of JUST the old ladies or JUST the lesbians, but NO..
I can’t tell you much, but I CAN tell you that a lot of those older ladies didn’t “take kindly to their shenanigans”.. but at least they didn’t pick fights with them because they would have gotten their little ‘ol asses kicked. I almost got MY ass kicked by a few of the meaner ones.
Tonight I fully expect to have gay dudes running through the halls and whooping it up in the hot tubs outside at 3 in the morning, while a few pissed-off and “deeply offended” good ‘ol boys from America’s heartland decide to take action on it.. and I’m going to have to sort it all out. Or maybe it’ll just be a nice, quiet evening and everyone will leave everyone else alone.
DISCLAIMER
- This BLOG, and RhodesTer himself, in no way either expressly condone or condemn the actions of homosexual males, homosexual females or farmers from the heartland of America and, as a security person and “manager on duty” working the night shift at a major hotel/resort, RhodesTer simply hopes that while all individuals enjoy the various forms of freedom of expression, speech and opinion guaranteed to them by our constitution, they don’t kill each other, or RhodesTer, or blow up, burn down or otherwise somehow destroy the hotel, which Rhodester is entrusted with the care of, in the process.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
First off – where did you get that hilarious picture? I love it. Secondly…I laughed and laughed at all the juxtapositions of people. I think that these would make good stories in my Event Management Contingency Planning – What To Do When Things Go Wrong class. As a matter of fact, I bet you could contribute MANY war stories for that class.
Oh, YEAAAAHHH.. lots of events here and lots of things go wrong.. I should start writing a book.
Between the farmers and the Brokeback Mountaineers, you’re going to have plenty of dirt to dish after this is all over.
Actually.. nothing happened. The gay dudes were all mellow, and the farmers were in bed. The farmers are all checking out Saturday morning, so Saturday night is going to be more gay dudes than anyone else, and they like each other (a LOT), so hopefully there won’t be any problems.
Hmmm, some of the gay dudes I know think farmers are hot. We have the dynamic you are describing going on in my ENTIRE town. But confined to a small space…well, it ought to be exciting!
My 75-year old Mom and Dad, who live in L.A., decided to go for a drive last weekend, and ended up in Palm Springs. I couldn’t stop laughing when they informed me that Palm Springs is now 100% gay . . . they noticed that there were no women in sight, and nothing but good looking dudes cruising around in convertibles everywhere.
What a great town!