RhodesTer Press – COPY SAMPLES
Commercial
Jacqi Vuton
Ladies, take note of Jacqi Vuton. This site features lovely fashions with a good deal on sale right now, so as not to bite that budget. Sophisticated and chic, these breezy styles will get you ready to bid winter adieu and dance into spring with an appreciative audience of admiring onlookers. Mith is a new arrival that caught our eye with a conservative design that ventures to play a bit with nicely chosen colors. Other new arrivals share the spotlight but for those mindful of cash who still want to turn more than a few heads, this is the place to be.
Jacqi Vuton is offering up to seventy percent off on selected items clear across the board, from tops and dresses to shoes, handbags and jewelery. A 100 percent silk beaded Mendal top for under fifty dollars is not only affordable, but elegantly simple too. You can also “shop by collection” at Jacqi Vuton with one click, which shows that just like their fashion, a beautiful layout online doesn’t sacrifice functionality; it’s easy to accessorize in no time at all.
Prankster
A plethora of color and hipster sass occupy the palette at Prankster, where fashion has merged with function. Take the Workaday line, designed to offer a range of muted colors that whisper confidence for women in the workplace, or the collections of San Sabeo and Martini Mist, where tunics, tops and trousers combine nicely to impress. New arrivals from Kulan pleasantly shout with a combination of orange, black and gray that look toasty and delightful.
Prankster offers sales items too, and for all the right reasons; that you can enjoy class and style without letting on that the budget played a role. A scrumptious V-neck sweater in rosy pinks balanced with a deep chocolate horizontal striping at under 30 dollars is just the ticket to pull that off. Don’t miss the fashion guide and catwalk clips for plentiful ideas, where an education in style can be had in the comfort of one’s own home. Sleek photography with videos give life to ideas at Prankster. It’s the place to be, for all-in-one style, sass and class.
Informational
Writing like a pro
There was a time before the internet.
Back then, you could have posted a nursery rhyme on a computer screen, and people would have been fascinated.
Not now. Not in this age of 5.2 billion websites and nearly 70 million blogs, composed by everyone from professional journalists to 10 year olds hyped up on juice drinks.
NOW you need to grab the attention of your readers immediately.
To do that..
GRAB THEM WITH THAT HEADLINE..
HOOK THEM WITH THAT FIRST SENTENCE.
Keep it short and sweet.
EXPLAIN — What are you about? What’s going on here? Why do I need to read this?
Again, short and sweet.
I have a need and you have the solution to it. I just haven’t realized that yet, so tell me about it.
Again, well.. you know.
Where’s the best part? Down THERE? Hey, the best idea may have occurred to you as you were finishing up, but you can copy and paste, can’t you? Get it UP THERE.. on the top. Don’t save it for last or your reader just might give up.
REMEMBER — 70 million blogs.
SEVENTY MILLION.
Is this about me, the customer, or about you? I think you know how it SHOULD be.
“Demographics” isn’t a term used exclusively by television, radio and journalism people — you should have it in mind too, and write accordingly. Don’t write like a 15-year-old if you’re submitting to The Huffington Post and, in turn, don’t go over the heads of the MySpace crowd if that’s who your piece is for.
GRAMMAR is King, and punctuation is the Prince that rules alongside. Don’t disregard them or they’ll have your head. There are plenty of resources online to keep you from offending the monarchy with the prose of peasants.
Links are cool. Back in that day before the internet, we couldn’t link anything.. but now we can. Don’t link liberally, link with authority. Link when it matters and only if it helps. Don’t send your readers scurrying after wild geese.
Consistency is key. If it’s all on the same site or blog, don’t change up on me.. it’s too confusing.
Keywords count. A post about washing machines should have related words worked in. Go on, it’s fun! Laundry, cleaning, soap, etc.
Credibility is also key and counts too. You may not work for a major publication, but you still need to be able to substantiate your claims. If you just go and say, “Flying saucers were spotted zipping about over most of London last Thursday” and it isn’t so, you’re going to lose some credibility unless your writing is known to be satire and fiction.
Okay, there you go! You can now write like a pro, and you didn’t need two years of university to get that degree in English.
You’re welcome.
Humor
I must give her props, or kudos, or whatever one must give one’s wife when she works so hard to get the best deals and makes sure we have what we need and she reads this blog. Yes, I would certainly not be the best candidate if our two cats held an election and decided which one of us was going to go to Target for kitty litter and cat treats. If elected, I would grab the first bag of kitty litter I saw and, upon zipping home so that I could go online and stream music videos, it’d be discovered that the kitty litter was made of radioactive waste material with chunks of broken beer bottles mixed in.
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The Superman Of Hollywood Boulevard..
Superman sells dope. This I know because he was our neighbor, and he invited me in one day. A coffee table full of weed waiting to be pinched and packaged sat in front of him as he greeted me with a trusting smile, and laughed at the surprised look I unintentionally wore at that moment. He’d been doing his duty on the boulevard earlier that day and hadn’t bothered to change yet, so there he sat.. resplendent in his blue leotard, big red S, red boots and cape.. pinching, packaging and making me really, REALLY wish I’d had secret cameras in my eyeballs to capture the oddest sight I’d seen in years. But the camera of my mind will have to do for this picture.
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The blog “Palm Springs Savant” is written from Rick’s POV (Point Of Vanity) meaning that it’s all about the fine restaurants around Palm Springs plus the art museums and social gatherings, all of which I don’t get to attend due to poverty, lack of social standing and the fact that I’m a peasant toiling with the unwashed masses. I don’t think Rick has ever ordered a taco at a drive-up window and had to dig around for extra sauce packs between the seats or in the glove box. I have absolutely no doubt that he actually keeps gloves in his glove box – right between the ascot and fedora.
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Don’t Be A Fly! Or A Walleyed Pike!
I once worked at a hotel with a poolside bar. When I was last out there, I noticed all of these little plastic bags, each half full of water, that were hanging overhead — they were all around the perimeter and spaced about two feet apart.
“What in the heck are THOSE for?” I asked the bartender.
“Oh, they keep the flies away,” he said.
“How do they do THAT?” I asked.
“The flies see with hundreds of little lenses in their eyes as they fly around,” He explained. “The optics of the light that passes through the water in the plastic bags throws off their perception and frightens them.. they don’t go near them out of fear and confusion.”
It must be effective, because I never did see a fly at the poolside bar, but I always thought it was because the prices were too high for little critters who basically make their living eating poo. As hotel security, I’d kind of wished we could have added some additional bags half full of vodka to keep the obnoxious drunks away, but I have a feeling that would achieve the opposite effect.
“Stupid flies! Don’t you know you’re being tricked? It’s not in your way and it’s not going to hurt you and you can’t drown in it because it’s sealed up in plastic bags! It’s just a con! You’re being SCAMMED!”
I would have said this to the flies directly, but the plastic water bags are so effective there weren’t any out there; I’m sure that if I tracked some flies down in another area – an area sans plastic bags half full of water – they probably wouldn’t know what I was talking about, so they’d just land on me and vomit. Ewe!
This reminded me of a study I heard about years ago, where they (presumably fish scientists) put this walleyed pike (that’s a fish) into a tank that had a glass wall dividing it in half. They put another little fish, a minnow — which is what walleyed pikes like to eat — into the other half and, as the walleyed pike would go after the little minnow, it’d smack into the glass wall with a big cartoon “BOINNNNGGGG!” and suffer aggravating humiliation as the cruel fish scientists would point, laugh and make fun of the poor walleyed pike.
This went on for some time– like, days or weeks or months or something — until finally the poor, humiliated walleyed pike had had enough of being treated so disdainfully just because it was hungry and all it wanted was dinner, so it gave up. It stopped going after the little minnow, much to the little minnow’s relief, I’m sure.
So, do you know what happened next?
I’m sure you do, being the smart, sassy, savvy, intelligent reader that you are! The fish scientists removed the glass and the walleyed pike swam around the little minnow without bothering it. It did this continually until it eventually died of starvation.
“Stupid Walleyed PIKE! Don’t you see that they took the glass OUT! You could eat the little minnow after the glass was GONE! It was all a TRICK! You were SCAMMED!”
I don’t think this would really be any kind of decent post at all if I didn’t attempt to use our friend the fly and our friend the walleyed pike as examples of how we can be blinded to opportunity and finding success that’s right in front of us because of something that’s holding us back. It’s probably something that we can’t see, because it’s made of glass, and they (presumably God or the devil or someone) took the glass out long ago, but we are so used to the glass being there that we’d rather starve to death than eat our little minnow because we don’t want to endure humiliation again.
OR.. we have these HUGE bags half full of water hanging all around us, and even though it’s just WATER, and it won’t HURT us, and it just HANGS there, we avoid it because it’s confusing and scary.
I say fly right in there, and LAND on the plate of half-eaten nachos! INDULGE YOURSELF! You only live for, like, two days! And EAT THE LITTLE minnow, despite what’s happened in the past and how many headaches you have from bumping into that damned glass! JUST DO IT ALREADY, because, guess what?
THE GLASS IS GONE!
Life’s little lessons are all around us, my friends..in fish, in insects and in nature itself.. and you don’t have to work for a hotel with an outdoor poolbar or become a fish scientist to observe, learn and apply.
“Carpe Diem Carp”, friends.. Seize the daily fish.
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