Another 4th of July weekend is upon us here in the United States.
This phenomenon seems to come around every year, and even if the actual 4th of July falls on a weekday we still tend to make a weekend out of it full of hot dogs, fireworks and beer.
This year it falls on Monday which is pretty much the American ideal. Everyone leaves work a little early on Friday and has a real go at the whole weekend, then they party all day on Monday.
Sweet.
Apparently it all started when we were British but didn’t want to be British any longer, so we all got on boats and came over here, but British soldiers came after us to get us back, because we’re that cool.
They also wanted all this land to be a part of the British Empire and for us to “serve the crown” and give part of our tax money to the Queen for God-only-knows what.
So we kicked ass on the British soldiers and stood our ground, then they gave up and went home. Then we got out a piece of paper and signed it, declaring our independence from Britain. This became known as the “Declaration of Independence” because we couldn’t think of anything really clever to name it, being so exhausted from having just kicked all those British asses.
Because of that piece of paper, this day is technically called “Independence Day” here in the states even though people tend to say, “So what are you doing for the fourth of July?” instead of “So what are you doing for Independence Day?”
(Answer – “Drinking a shit-load of beer while eating hot dogs, tossing frisbees and watching fireworks. What the hell do you THINK I’m doing?”)
We may have whupped ass on the British two-hundred and something years ago but we’re grown-ups now, so we’re friends and we’ve put all that rough-and-tumble stuff behind us.
We have British pubs around here that serve interesting food like fish and chips, shepherds pie and spotted dick along with an Irish beer called “Guinness” because the Brits don’t have a really good beer of their own.
(I have since been corrected on this and urged to try a “Boddingtons.” I’ve had Boddingtons before and shall have to try it again, but not this weekend.)
A lot of Americans go over to Britain to visit, and a lot of British people come here to have a look around.
We all get along famously.
But we also like a good reason to party so we play patriotic music, have parades, wave flags, drink beer and shoot off fireworks every year at this time to remind ourselves that we were once British but aren’t anymore.
Even some Americans who live in Britain celebrate the 4th of July over there, which seems really twisted but their British friends don’t seem to mind as long as there’s plenty of free beer at the parties.
Over here, people who weren’t even British at one time join in on the celebration. They can be Hispanic, Asian, African and even those poor souls who were here long before we were. It doesn’t matter. A lot of them party it up because hey, once again.. FREE BEER!
native by foreversouls on flickr
The whole idea is to say, “We’re no longer slaves to tyrannical rule, so pass me another Pabst Blue Ribbon and OOOOOOH, did you see THOSE streamers, they were awesome!”
Speaking of awesome streamers..
Notice they don’t say “Hey, pass me a Guinness” because that would just be treason right there, no matter how warm and fuzzy we and our British cousins feel about one another these days.
Except Guinness is actually pretty good beer, but over here it just needs to be consumed on a day other than the 4th of July. Saint Patrick’s Day is a really good day for that.
We here at The RhodesTer Chronicles are going to make a day of it this coming Monday and go out with our wife to drink American beer while watching American fireworks and eating American hot dogs.
If we imbibe a little too much – as we expect we will – we might even vomit American vomit into our American toilet toward the end of the evening while our wife holds our American hair back, and the Queen can’t say a damned thing about it, let alone charge us a tax on it or have our heads.
It’s good to be free sort of free.
The Queen and her version of hot dogs
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I think we should just blow up BP’s oil rig down South, and let that serve as the main fireworks attraction for the entire nation. Free fried sea turtles and manatees for everyone—let the little piggies get a break this year…
You’re odd, yet intriguing. You may stay.
Mate – We got out the piece of paper, then started kicking British ass. Up ’til that point, as a matter of fact, they were kicking our asses!
And Boddington’s makes a fine pint. But I am drinking a beer from a Belgian company this weekend, its called Bud Light
I just KNEW someone would call me on the British beer part of that. What do I know? I’ll have to give Boddington’s a try, but not this weekend of course.
Drinking a Red Stripe at the moment because as far as I know, we’ve not had any beef with Jamaica.