Has anyone else been lucky enough to have certified warranty specialists call them on their cell phone and offer to extend their vehicle warranty, or am I the only one?
These calls have been coming rather consistently, and at first I asked them to “please not call”, followed later by “quit calling me” followed later by “quit fucking calling me, you fucking bastards” but they haven’t. So when they called today, I thought that if they’re going to interrupt me in the middle of something that I’m doing, then I might as well have a little fun with it. So I pushed “one” when instructed to do so by the recording.
“Good day, this is Alan, would you like to extend the warranty on your vehicle?”
“Boy, would I! You have great timing, it was just about to expire and I don’t want to drive around risking something falling off and it costing me a fortune to get it fixed, you know?” (laughs)
“I hear ya, sir!” (laughs back) “Can I get your vehicle make, model and year?”
“Of course! It’s a 2005 Porsche Nine Eleven Turbo Cabriolet”
“I’m sorry sir, did you say a ninety-five?”
“Oh heavens no!” (laughs) “I wouldn’t drive anything older than 2000! What do you take me for, a bum?”
“Oh no sir!” (laughs) “I just didn’t hear you right, I’m sorry.. now what’s the name on that?”
“Alan.. Alan Smithee“
“What a coincidence, my name’s Alan too! Okay, Mr. Smithee, I have you all set up.. I’ll connect you with a certified warranty specialist now and he’ll have all of this preliminary information, but he’s going to ask you a few further questions and you’ll be under way with your new warranty.. thank you so much and have a wonderful day!”
Alan connected me, and before we went any further with it, I asked the warranty specialist if I could ask a question first. He said I could, so I asked him if he thought it was a poor marketing practice to be cold calling someone about extending their vehicle warranty when they don’t even own a car.
He too wished me a wonderful day before he hung up.
I was going to publish the number that came in on my phone – 909.650.9185 – and urge all of you to call it and ask that same question, but it turns out that’s how they do the opt-out thing. When I called it back, a nice recorded lady said that if I didn’t want to receive anymore calls from them, I was to push “one” and I’d be removed from their list. I did and that was that, I guess. Who knew? I wish someone had told me that’s how I opt-out in the first place.
I’m so rattled from the whole thing, I need to go for a drive. Now where DID I park my Porsche 911 Turbo? I’m forever misplacing that damn car..
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