From the monthly archives:

October 2008

FAGS

by RhodesTer on October 30, 2008

God Hates Signs

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Primate humor

by RhodesTer on October 27, 2008

While I was at the Coffeebean in downtown Palm Springs yesterday morning, the cute Cambodian counter girl was telling me about her other job at “Bath Junkie.”

“Bath Monkey?” I asked.

“No Dave, Bath JUNKIE.. it’s a shop that sells bath supplies.”

“OH!”.. I was perplexed. “Well, I suppose if it was actually called BATH MONKEY then you’d be selling soap to simians, and you’d probably have a really nice line of APE-ricot scrubs.”

I wonder why she doesn’t talk to me very much.

I go to the Coffeebean on weekend mornings.  This is because I work the overnight shift at a nearby hotel and, when I get off at eight, I like to unwind with a nice iced medium mocha blended with no whip.  Then I catch a bus to journey the 3 miles home so that I can sit at this stupid computer in a glassy-eyed daze for a few hours before finally collapsing.

This all might change soon.  I’m trying to eat better and get more exercise.  I might ride my bike back AND forth, forgoing the bus altogther, and cutting out iced medium mochas with no whip in favor of something with fewer calories.  I might take a different route — one that takes me by a Starbucks — and I might sit in there for a bit each weekend morning and just do some kind of coffee thing with no foo foo extras.

I’m just thinking about it at this point.

I like routine.  I like having the same thing.  I like making the cute Cambodian counter girl roll her eyes in disbelief at bad puns.

But a Starbucks would have employees who think my puns are bad too.  They’d certainly roll their eyes, and I wouldn’t have to wait at a bus stop for ten minutes.  I’d ride free, like the wind, and soak in the sunshine while burning off those pounds.

This entire post was composed solely to get my “Bath Monkey” joke on here, but then I got kind of lost..

Go about your day now.

Sorry.

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MONEY.. it’s a gas..

October 24, 2008

I received an email the other day wherein someone offered to pay me if they could advertise on this blog.
I’m a little verklempt!

I was going to wait on advertising until I have about 1000 visitors a day, or until dooce.com tells all of her readers to come here instead of there, whichever comes first.  But [...]

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While I was at work..

October 23, 2008

“You get to be TRUTH, and all I get is HEY?”

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Dog Insight

October 15, 2008

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Invincible Andy

October 14, 2008

There’s this big, dopey white kid who works as a valet at the hotel, and lately I’ve taken to calling him “Invincible Andy”. This is because his name is Andy, and he seems to think he’s invincible.

I first noticed it some time ago, when we were chatting in the lobby and a guest walked [...]

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The New Addition

October 13, 2008

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Guess WHAT?

October 12, 2008

She’s 40 today, that girl of mine.

The one I married. The one who married me.

Yeah, that one.
FORTY.
She was 20 when I met her.
TWENTY.
I remember her first legal drink.

It was her 21st birthday. We were with her grandparents, and they made a big deal of buying her a drink in a restaurant.
The waitress carded [...]

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From the “trying too hard to be artsy” department..

October 4, 2008

“Okay, I think I can fix this leak.. hand me that wrench please..”

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MORE Iranian hookers.. everywhere..

October 2, 2008

Okay, so I have to say that I am SO not down with this whole SEO thing (Sex Engine Orgasm) and I know I’ve ranted about it before, but my latest find not only takes the cake, but eats it too and then barfs it out later all over my nice new shoes.
See, I use [...]

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