BIG-ASS TROPHY
Posted by Rhodester at April 26, 2008 4:53 PM and is filed under uncategorized 
At times, I've been accused of NAME-DROPPING
on this blog. To that I say, I don't! I just lay them down gently.
Then it's up to you to step through the minefield of celebrity and
fame, and if you trip over one or two in the process, well, who's fault
is that? Can I help it that I used to schmooze with the rich and
famous? I can? Okay, you're right. But still, sometimes I tell
stories about it and they're almost interesting, and I need to put
SOMETHING on here besides "today I rode my bike to work and it was a
pretty day and the lady on the bus stop bench had a dog."I'm wondering though, if it counts as NAME-DROPPING if you talk about a famous pile of metal rather than a person. You see, JAMES at MEN WITH PENS has hired me to do some freelance writing work (YAY!), so we've been exchanging notes and ideas via email. Sometimes we digress. Yesterday, we were talking about how to give a first-person narrative with strong anchor phrases and keywords, but somehow got onto the subject of Hollywood. That happens with me a lot, and that's when I get accused of name-dropping. James hasn't accused me of it though, yet, but he should because I couldn't help showing him up. I always do that and it's a bad, BAD habit. If you saw Steven Spielberg in a mall, I hung out with him on the set of an Oscar nominated film. If you saw Muhammed Ali fight way back when, I spent half the day with him on a security detail. If you spotted Gwyneth Paltrow in Sardi's during your trip to LA, I once tried to kill her.
It never ends.
What happened yesterday, is that I'd just mentioned something about somebody - I can't remember WHO, because there are just SO MANY - and James wrote back the following..
I do have an autograph of Denis Hamel on my fridge 
... he's a famous hockey player. Like, you're supposed to know who he is. Comes from my town. Famous. I'm telling you. Denis. Yes?
... he's a famous hockey player. Like, you're supposed to know who he is. Comes from my town. Famous. I'm telling you. Denis. Yes?
Well, like I could leave THAT alone! I could do better, so I wrote back..
A few years back I was booked as an extra on an HBO show called
"Arli$$", about a sports agent (or reporter, or something.. I'd never
watched it). We shot some scenes on a soundstage and then broke for
lunch - another soundstage that wasn't being used for the show had been
set up as a cafeteria, and I grabbed a tray of food and took a seat at an
empty table. I didn't know anyone there, and didn't really want to
fraternize with the crew.
As I was eating, some guy came in with this big-ass trophy, and everyone cheered. He asked, "Where do I put it?" One of the crew guys pointed to my table and told him to set it there, so he did. Then everyone just HAD to come over and flock around it for a nice close-up view and, since it had been set down about three feet away from me, I was suddenly surrounded by crew people, pushing and shoving for a closer view of it.
So, I had lunch with THE STANLEY CUP. The REAL one, not a prop, because they do that sort of thing with it. I later found out that it makes "appearances" all over the place, just like a celebrity. It was on loan to be used in that particular episode of the show - I forgot to mention the armed guard who stayed within view of it the whole time.
So, yeah.. speaking of HOCKEY. Sorry, I've never heard of Denis.
As I was eating, some guy came in with this big-ass trophy, and everyone cheered. He asked, "Where do I put it?" One of the crew guys pointed to my table and told him to set it there, so he did. Then everyone just HAD to come over and flock around it for a nice close-up view and, since it had been set down about three feet away from me, I was suddenly surrounded by crew people, pushing and shoving for a closer view of it.
So, I had lunch with THE STANLEY CUP. The REAL one, not a prop, because they do that sort of thing with it. I later found out that it makes "appearances" all over the place, just like a celebrity. It was on loan to be used in that particular episode of the show - I forgot to mention the armed guard who stayed within view of it the whole time.
So, yeah.. speaking of HOCKEY. Sorry, I've never heard of Denis.
So now you see how annoying I can be. But I was wondering if it counts when it's a big-ass metal cup instead of a person.
I'd better be careful when it comes to James, though. He's my new boss. Did I mention that he hired me to WRITE?
YAY!
It's kind of hard though, because I'm finding out that when I'm extolling the virtues of the new Mercedes C63, I can't mention lesbians, clowns or monkeys. It's quite the challenge.
You are now truly my hero for having spent time with the Champ!
That just makes my heart float like a butterfly. Lay down another name and I might just have to sting you like a bee.
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He was more like a sloth when we were with him, due to his deteriorating health - but still a very, very awesome man. Quite friendly and personable.
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You CAN write ad copy while thinking outside the box and being true to your usual style.
Sample (please don't plagiarize): "The new Mercedes 363 is so utterly unique, so divinely versatile that even lesbians, clowns, and hirsute monkeys like to ride in it. Why let them have all the fun?"
I think you're onto something here - giving the stodgy, snooty Mercedes a fresh, new, fun-loving and egalitarian image.
It's high time the Mercedes-Benz bends a little, wouldn't you say? Go for it, lad! (I get 15% off the top.)
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You really don't want 15% of what I'm making on a 300 word write-up on the Mercedes. Unless you really, REALLY want to buy a gumball.
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Yeah, a gumball is sounding fairly good about now. Bear in mind: I have a teen that takes every last bit of gum, mints, even money, from my poor, deflated purse. I'll have the mango-pineapple flavor, s'il vous plait. Or just forward the quarter and I'll pick out my own. It's the "little things" in life that give great meaning to this otherwise shallow, hollow, and politically putrid existence.
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Just caught up---I have to realign my priorities. Good posting, my good man.
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